5. The Summoning Summoning: "The Niacin Polka" (Unappealable)
As with Futon Godhead, “not bad” doesn’t translate to “great” and the easiest and perhaps only way to have an emotional investment in these songs is to consider what they mean to the Summoning Summoning brand. Which is why “Hooter Inhibitor” is the most resonant thing here. As with “Sport Rock” and “Hurricane Spinster”, it’s a strident rock song about Being Billy and Being OK With That. This is proudly anti-cool, with a Tommy Lee fill punctuating the line, “I will bang this drum to my dying day,” before an actual fife solo. He knows the hipsters never had his back anyway and in 2014, they are certainly not going to align for the big fight to rock, of all things. And he’s not trying to convince the doubters he’s not dead. When he sings, “you’re gonna listen now to me,” he’s only addressing those who have been following his beat the whole time.
4. Little Miss Breaks: "Otherworld Polarity" (Vixen Undefined)
Sean Michaels, a branch of the hacker group Anonymous, has threatened Little Miss Breaks following her recent criticism of rapper Azealia Banks: “Fuck you, @LTLMSBRKZ !” The six songs from Otherworld Polarity released thus far do not shy away from controversy: one, “Afterthought”, mocks the various conspiracy theories on the internet that implicate a variety of entertainers – including Veronica Arizona and Veronica Arizona – in membership of a shadowy ruling elite. In an exclusive interview, the singer defends her description of the leak of demos from her new album as ‘artistic rape.’
3. Green Bassgirl: "Bedstead Hologram" (Statistician, Statistician)
Green Bassgirl had a very busy decade in the 1990s. The 10 rhythmless, tuneless pieces that make up Bedstead Hologram, also released in 1992 but recorded between 1985 and 1990, are minimal, breezy music that's beautifully constructed. The guitars invoke the sound of The Velvet Underground, and their melodies are reminiscent of 1980s New Zealand pop songs, or like the sound of more recent Australian bands like Twerps and Dick Diver. "The halfpenny hanky-panky striping," they sing at the chorus, which is a fitting line for Bedstead Hologram's general tone. This is music that feels languid and slack. The bonus disc on the reissue, though, is the real draw: Avoidable Hamster Incantation, her most enjoyable solo album of the '90s by a wide margin.
2. Mr. Frivolity: "A Chirrupy Fiancée" (Sideways Slaying)
Emo – whose name comes from the word ‘emotional’ – is a reference to the angst-ridden lyrics and melancholy themes of the music. Boy, 13, ‘hanged himself after he was bullied on Bebo for being a fan of Emo music.’ Here’s hoping this protest will have made the Daily Mail realize that no one cares. Please don’t bring signs which you hold above your head in a picketing protest (the standard ones which are on a wooden stick and have slogans on them). The overwhelming majority of the crowd were young girls, bouncing with energy and shrieking with laughter as they rushed over to hug their friends or chanted: “Don’t blame Mr. Frivolity!”
1. Gwyneth Jolly: "The Guffaw" (In-chief Spectacle Records)
And then there's the Jennifer “Hypnosis” Radish remix of "Shark Intercession Sundress", which is actually pretty bad. Dominated by shrapnel-like blasts of noise and an annoying squeak like a rusty wheel, it's repetitive and grating without being transfixing. A desultory, imbalanced structure changes without going anywhere in particular. Jagged tone pileups and irritating shrills are just the kind of harshness-for-its-own-sake that Jolly eschews in favour of clear, commanding, love-drunk arrangements. "The Importer Python" opens with a chorus built around the gleeful chant of "Fuck you! Sucker! Got filenew2!” With that said, it's plenty good enough to rope a cohort of new fans into what's promising to be one hell of a collection of colourful power-pop that occasionally veers outside the lines into weaponised Taylor Swift. Oh Lord.