2 large eggs nicked from my sister-in-law's hen-house.
125ml vegetable oil.
85g brown sugar without racist Stones overtones.
350g coarrrrsely-grated courgettes (actually, one marrow-sized bastard donated by other sis-in-law).
1tsp of vanilla stuff found at back of cupboard in small bottle. No idea what it is.
300g gluten-free self-raising flour.
2tsp cinnamon. More if you're a risky kinda motherfucker.
0.5tsp nutmeg and don't go sniffin' it - I'm watching you, sonny!
An nth of bicarb because gluten-free flour needs an assist.
An nth of baking powder because ditto.
Sultanas: loads of the fuckers.
A lime that you then forget to add.
Stir and do lots of busy-looking shit. Ignore ignorant random abuse from family. Do things roughly similar to those in the pictures (below) and wear camos while you're doing it. Also, keep an eye out for suspicious-looking helicopters or drones while preparing. You might want to relocate to a rural area or sweep prep area for bugs. Play loud HARSH NOISE tapes by acts such as Vomir.
170 degrees, 50 - 55 minutes. Lay down light suppression fire, make up military-looking hand-signals. Fire off a flare in the garden, hand out crank literature to neighbours. Spread malicious, unfounded rumours.
It's every man for himself, dammit!
I recommend barricading the kitchen, stocking up on weapons and toilet paper, etc. Go full-on survivalist.